Leaving

I left on a bus to Colorado
Where the meth zombies live with
Their yellow eyes to stare you down,
Over cash registers
And sandy roads.

I took a boat to the islands when I was two,
A photographic memory, of
Presence in a white comforter- fig eating paradise.
OneandaSix, I close up on a couch in blinding,
Sunlight and frantic fingers
In bed, ending a conversation;
A sad incommunication,
My eyes droop down,
Backs are away from each other.

Him I left sitting,
Gray hair twirling poking out of ears
Fluffy shirt over pale skin
In a small yellow room I walked out of a hug.
His eyes watering over,
Months spent teaching me guitar.
His teddy bear fondness on the neck;
And I listened,
But with hands that were uncomfortable on the sharp metal.

I lost my glow in the dark superhero,
In the storm drain,
Then entered shakily from screaming,
Phone calls in an ice wind.
I was hugged by a nymph boy who floats me to the rainy ocean.
I left to be a lonesome automaton in a trailer park bed.
Afterten, with my hair tied up like Snow White,
Sitting in meditation
I feel the fear of being left
I suck a bit of tea from my leaves and
Try to see a future in the bottom of a water jar,
Where my paint lies stagnant.

When I have nightmares stiff in lock position.
I leave when I feel a cold metal cube on my neck in the dark,
I’m going to find a place where I’m with someone who will stay.